


just a little time to heal

by breezv



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Exes, F/F, Human AU, hints of emotional abuse, lapidot - Freeform, talking about exes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23501641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breezv/pseuds/breezv
Summary: human au with powers; peridot pov. peridot and lapis have a great day together and decide to end it by watching click by adam sandler. peridot reluctantly but finally confesses some feelings she's been keeping. lapis vents.
Relationships: Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), lapis/jasper are exes ok
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	just a little time to heal

Laughter echoed through the room, almost loud enough to be heard by the neighbors. It was almost late at night, and after a long day of window shopping, you and Lapis decide to relax with some cheesy romantic comedy movies.

“And I’ll never forget that incredible summer…” the actress on the laptop screen dreamily sighed. A generic pop song about heartbreak or something blares through the speakers as the credits roll slowly down the laptop screen.

Unabashedly, you snort, letting the credits roll through, “She won’t forget it for sure!”  
“Yeah, but you know what she did forget?” Lapis brings up.  
“No, what?”  
Briefly, she laughs through her nose, “That coffee she never got to give Brandon!”  
Cracking up, you roll back on the couch, “Oh my GOD! Brandon never got his coffee! AHAHAH!”

After a few back and forth retorts on the absurdity of the movie, Lapis stands up from the couch and stretches for a while. You can hear her fingers pop as she does so, and glances over to you with her beautiful brown eyes,  
“You want some dessert, Peri?”  
Snapping out of your light trance, you blink for a second, then lift your mug and shake it as the spoon inside it jingles, “Wouldn’t mind a refill.”  
Lapis smiles and grabs the empty mug to fill it up with a few scoops of ice cream.

She walks over to the kitchen counter right across the room, and you just watch her work, and simply admire her from afar. Lapis… God, where could you even begin? You were always at odds with yourself, wondering if you ever had feelings for this blue beauty. When you two first met, she wasn’t exactly the kindest. She had this protective shell around her, like she was trying to keep people out. But you saw through her tough act.

Now you know, though, and you consider it a great privilege to be one of her closest friends. You were smitten, but obviously you could never admit that! She was the most emotional, sweet, and caring girl you had ever known, and it’s a shame not everyone gets her at first glance. It’s a testament of your friendship that you’re proud to say you can tell how Lapis Lazuli is feeling! That’s not a privilege everyone has!

Every move and gesture she made, of taking out the ice cream from the freezer, removing the lid, and stabbing the ice cream with the spoon, made you happy simply for the fact it meant she was alive. And that filled you with such great warmth inside. Lapis struggles with the spoon and the cold, hard, ice cream, and you unknowingly smile looking on. She darts her eyes up at you and laughs,  
“What are you looking at?”

Shoot, uh, quick! Comment on how silly she looks trying to scoop that ice cream! “Uh… you just— look so silly trying to scoop that ice cream!”  
Nice.

Lapis rolls her eyes and smirks, “Help me, then!”  
“R-right!” you manage to blurt out. With the flick of your wrist, the metal spoon stands stiff, then pierces the ice cream, scooping out as much as you’d like. Oh— an idea! You gently float the spoon up to Lapis, offering a bit of ice cream.

She looks surprised, but thankful with a bashful smirk as she eats the spoonful. Lapis grabs the spoon mid-air and places it in the mug, “Youh’vhe had yor fhill!” she says, mouth still full of the ice cream. “Any more, and you would’ve depleted my stock!” she comments, plopping down on the couch again, keeping her knees up. She also got a bag of chips as a snack.

You grab the mug and for a fleeting moment, your hands touch.

A millisecond felt too long, and the accidental eye contact didn’t help. You look away quickly, and thank her with a mouth full of ice cream.

Is it time, you think? To confess?  
No, don’t be silly. Lapis is… well— she’s still healing. Her ex had been… an unpleasant scar in her life, and you’ve been trying your best to be a positive source of support for her through and through.

Would it be insensitive, you think? It wasn’t too soon. But then again, it wasn’t too far, either. God, this is terrible. Maybe you’re overthinking this? The silence has gone on for 6.08 seconds and 6.08 seconds too long! You instinctively pipe up,  
“You got any other movies or shows in mind next?”

Lapis ponders for a moment, humming away, “Hmmm… I dunno. It’s your turn to pick, though, isn’t it?”  
Darn, she’s right. Okay, maybe something a bit softer to set the mood. Wait, you’re actually going through with this confession thing? God, this feels selfish. But would it really be selfish to want something that’s good for you?  
“Oh, right!” you say, scrolling through Jetflix’s recommendations for you.

Alright. Something casual. A movie you could confess too. Something that Lapis would never watch again so her memories of this movie aren’t tainted with embarrassment!  
“You wanna watch… Click?”

Lapis looks stunned for a moment, but her usual, half-lidded questioning look.  
“...Click?” she asks.  
“Yeah,” you reply.  
“By… Adam Sandler…?”  
You purse your lips at hearing what she had just uttered, but yes. You nod and make a sound in affirmation.  
She takes a beat to process the information after looking a bit confused. But she eventually just rolls back on her seat and relaxes,  
“Ai’ght, cool.”  
Yes. All according to plan.

You search up Click and have to stop yourself from spontaneously combusting when your cursor hovers over the play button. It’s Click time.

The movie starts, and you sit back next to Lapis. She leans on you, which is normal at this point, but it always sends you into a frenzy in your head. Her arm is warm, and you can just barely see her off the corner of your eye, munching away on her chips. You wonder if she’s paying attention at all to Adam Sandler’s wacky antics.

Alright. This film will give you time to focus on a confession plan. Usually, you're never this abrupt with plans, but now is the time! You’ll have to ask to go home soon, and you dread leaving her place.

Maybe it would be best to bring it up casually? Like, hey, Lapis! I actually have fallen deeply in love with you!  
No, god, that’s stupid.  
Maybe chill? Stay chill? Like, oh, yeah, by the way… all these years we’ve known each other has led up to my emotions of great romantic interest in you.  
GOD, NO. Can you just not ramble on like you always do, Peridot?!

Calmly, completely, and concisely convey your convictions.

“Hey, Lapis—!” immediately, you cover your mouth. You’ve been going off in your head so much you accidentally mumble one out.  
“Hm?” she asks lazily, head facing you slightly, but eyes still on the screen.  
Oh god, oh jeez, oh gosh. Should you do it now? Right now is when this is happening? Oh god, it’s happening. It’s HAPPENING.

“I-“  
A loud burst of laughter comes out of Lapis as she grabs your shoulder. Adam Sandler is flopping his… belly’s skin flesh??? God, you weren’t paying attention at all. You have no idea what’s going on.  
“This movie is great! How come I’ve never watched it?!”  
“Hehe, yeahhhh weird…” you chuckle.  
“I’m sorry,” she composes herself, “you were saying?”  
The wind seems to have been taken out of your lungs as she looks straight at you now. Only the light from the laptop and the kitchen illuminates her. She’s gorgeous. She pauses the movie. Oh god, it’s getting real.

“Hm?”  
You muster up the courage to stammer like a clown, “I-.. I- uhm, hah! Well— you see, I, uh—“  
She stares at you intently, long lashes blinking away calmly.  
You put the mug down on the table and compose yourself. Taking a deep breath, trying not to make eye contact, you say the worst composed string of words you’ve ever said.

“Well I was just thinking— Maybe right now? Yes. Right now! I’m thinking—“  
“You sure are,” she plays along.  
“I was thinking! Just a thought. Just an itty bitty one—“  
“Uhuh,”  
“That I… uh! I—“  
“Yeah?”  
Your eyes meet.  
“I really, really, lo- er-... like you.”

Her eyebrows raised in shock, that you know, but for the first time in so long… you couldn’t tell what Lapis Lazuli was feeling.

The silence was deafening, only the hum of the laptop filling in the space. You bet she’s just as awkwarded out as you are. God, say something, Peridot! Make it count!

“I—“ you both begin at the same time.  
“Oh, uh, you first-“ you say as her eyebrows furrow, looking away, trying to find the words to say.  
Lapis opens her mouth to speak, but closes again, likely rewording in her head. Again, she tries, and says “I love you too, Peri…”

Your heart bounces for joy, she went further beyond! But it’s as if she understood as she interrupts your moment of celebration “But— I’m so, very sorry… I’m…”  
You raise your hands as if to reassure her, “I-it’s okay! It was enough just hearing you say it…” and give a soft smile. “And hey! We don’t have to like, date or anything— U-unless you want to of course!” you say aloud, unintentionally raising your voice.  
She laughs slightly through her nose and smiles back sympathetically, as if still apologizing through it.

“Thanks. It’s just so… difficult,” she starts, looking down on the carpeted floor.  
You try to show you’re listening, looking intently at her, “Yeah?”  
“She’s… still on my mind.”  
“Yeah…” Knew it. You told you this was a bad time!

You don’t wanna give an awkward sympathetic hug, so instead you gently place your head on her shoulder. She smiles.  
“Hey… I’ll be here for you— all of you, through all of it. Okay?!” you assert.  
She laughs. There she is. “Alright, alright…”  
“Do you wanna talk about it?” you ask.  
Lapis fiddles with the piece of lint stuck on her sweatpants. She continues, “Jasper had such a huge influence on my life… and she wasn’t all bad. She was just… intense, I guess…”  
You scoff, “You’re telling me controlling you and guilt tripping you at every turn was just ‘intense’?!”  
She raises her brows and shrugs in a pained expression, “Teensy bit,” the corner of her mouth turned up. You roll your eyes.

“It’s difficult letting go of someone who you admired and despised at the same time, you know…” she leans back, “putting so much emotional emphasis on a person makes them feel important to you. It felt like I lost a part of myself…”  
“I get you…” you think back to your old boss, whom you idolized. But that’s not what this is about right now!

Lapis turns her head to face you, but her eyes are off someplace else.  
“Sometimes, I still think I value her approval. The little things I did, I’d think… ‘Jasper wouldn’t like that,’ or ‘Jasper would say you’d look awful in that,’” she takes a few seconds, then laughs briefly, “Old habits die hard, I guess.”  
You reassure her “You don’t need anyone’s approval but your own!”  
She smiles, looking straight at you now, “Yeah, I get that now,” she says laying a hand over on yours. Gently, warmly, softly holding you.

“It’s hard. That’s all it boils down to. I did everything for her and I always felt like… Like I was the bitch. That maybe if I tried harder she’d have...“ Lapis trails off to silence, not finishing her sentence. A second later, she smiles. “A part of me wanted her to stay… Dumb of me.”  
You hold her hand back now, looking straight at her, smiling, “I’m here for you.”

Lapis scoots closer to you on the couch. Admittedly, you blush for a moment, hoping that you don’t smell sickly sweet of ice cream. She’s near you now, thighs touching, as she hugs you sincerely. At first, you don’t know what to do with your hands, but slowly you just lay them on her back. You squeeze each other tight.  
Relieved, Lapis says confidently, “I know…”

She loves you, that’s all you needed to know. Nothing else mattered in the moment, nothing but her. The two of you may not be official… but you don’t need anything more than her presence. The hug lasts longer than you expected, but she’s the first to break away. Lapis wipes a tear away and has her hands on your shoulders,  
“Well?! Are we continuing Click or not?!” she huffs.

You laugh, “It’s getting late!”  
She rolls her eyes and cuddles up against you, “You’re staying here.”  
“Wha-?!” you exclaim, flustered and all over the place, “B-but I didn’t bring any spare clothes, or my own blanket, or pajamas or- or- or—!” Lapis shushes you.  
“Movie’s starting, silly,” she smiles.  
Your shoulders relax as you notice you’ve been tense this whole time. You place an arm around Lapis.

Enjoy the moment. It’s going to take some time to get used to being this happy.

**Author's Note:**

> let me vent by using fanfiction as proxy! im valid, im valid!!!!! *turns into a corncob*


End file.
